Still here

Here I am. Hanging on. I may be at the end of my proverbial rope, but I'm still here. The end is near...that is...the end of the school year! It's a bitter-sweet time for me. I truly LOVE my job--I am so blessed. I mean, how many people do you know who spend their days surrounded by amazing little people, who get to sing, and play and LAUGH at work? I'm so dang lucky. But...

The time has come for many of my young friends to head down new paths, and I will miss them. I'm terrible at goodbyes. I hate them, actually. When I think of all the years I've taught, and the literally HUNDREDS of children who've touched my life...it breaks my heart a little bit to know that I may never see some of these children again. My first little class that I taught in Corvallis in 1993 is GRADUATING FROM HIGH SCHOOL this year! Boy, that makes me feel sooo old! I remember every one of them-- I wonder if they remember me?

Here's the upside--I really, really, really need a break. I have a great job, but it takes a lot out of me. I carry around these 31 little people in my heart for nine months, plus their 62+ parents--I hear about their trials and challenges, I worry for them, I think and ponder and wonder about them. Have I done enough? Could I have done more? Given more of myself? The thing is, letting go of the day-to-day relationships with 100+ people is tough, but it's also incredibly liberating! I get to spend the next few weeks taking care of my seriously neglected family, home, and pets...oh yeah, and ME! I get to take some time to take care of me, and you'd better believe there's going to be a pedicure and a massage involved! (Not to mention some on-going chiropractic care for my totally screwed up shoulder....)

Kira will be out of school in mid-June, and then the real fun will begin. A major road trip, lots of day camps, swim lessons, hikes, camping trips, visits with family, summer holidays and birthdays and anniversaries to celebrate--I feel like the next three months are my chance to reconnect with MY LIFE! Whenever I feel these feelings of overwhelmedness vs. liberation, I realize (once again!) that I have got to learn to create balance in my life. To give the right amount at work, at home, at church, in my family and the community--but to also hang onto something for me. So--I am hereby committing to taking better care of myself this summer. To spend some time pursuing my hobbies and interests, to being outside and more physically active, to playing with my daughter, to walking the dog, and to spending time with GROWN UPS--my sweet husband, in particular! (I love kids, but man, the conversations can be less than scintillating!) So here's to the last days of my get-up-and-go-to-work-five-days-a-week lifestyle. I am SO excited for what's to come, I can hardly stand it! So maybe I should start by getting my you-know-what in bed so I don't wind up sick after school gets out (like I did last year--dang Norovirus!) Here's to happy endings, and new beginnings!